Marzo

So fast and so tedious
Contradictions of our waiting
I can see you tonight
Watching me
Observing me.

Trying no to let me know
You are feeling the same way as I do
Unique and special.

I never doubted it.

Willing to hope
Trying to keep you
Liberating from ideas.

It is you who makes me think twice
Who makes me want to go back
Who makes me feel again.

It has been a while I've been feeling dead
I feel chills all over my body
Granting your presence tomorrow
Doubting and fearing if this is what you promised.

Trying so hard
Recreating our past in my memory
I try to hear your words
Full of joy
Full of trust.

For the first time, I feel safe
I will go to you wearing nothing but myself
Analyze me
Just live it.

You are my biggest inspiration
Your existance makes me happy
Guilty of missing you
For moments I miss the present.

Stuck in my head flows the revenge
I will spend my days next to your torso
Fragil creature I will promise I will take care of you

Promise me promise me
Tortures and punishments will be out of the way.

Gone and Run

Quiet but anxious
Its been forever since I haven't been able to sleep tranquil
Your memory is tormenting me
Your image is still popping out of nowhere.

Half blind, half injured
Half stupid, half in love
My whole body is aching
I can't feel it anymore, I can't feel it anymore.

I need to move on you know?
You already made enough harm
You came and took everything I had
I'm still lost wondering who I am.

I'm not going to ask myself the same questions again
this is over and I know
I'm not expecting anything else from you now.

Just leave me
Feel proud of seeing me defeated
Seeing me crawling around
On my knees, covering my eyes so you can't see my tears.

Go ahead, enjoy it
Here are your minutes of pleasure
You won
I lost.

You accomplished your purpose
You must feel happiness
You got what you wanted right?
You stole my energy and my expectations.

Don't stay here staring at me
Run far away and never come back
I can't even find the right word
There is not an adjective to describe you.

Again I will play your words in my head
Your tactics and your strategies
You played a very unfair game
You took advantage of my weakness.

Water Lilies

Closing my eyes, I picture myself swimming under the lilac waters
Holding your body, pressing it against mine
Feeling your warmth
Healing your scars.

Under the green leaves and the pink flowers
We will sink to find our inner voice.

I want to touch the purple water so badly...
I want to get splashed with the mint and darker green colours
I would love to float on top of them
Releasing my tensions, allowing to let go completely...

Without thinking twice
Inventing new moves
Liberating our spirits
Calling for love.

Lately, my head has been bothering me
Your name trembles inside my brain
Too much thinking I guess
Too many days far away from each other.

Oh! I want to shout it out loud
You are the most wonderful creature ever made
Your fondness, your strength
I feel so lucky to have you back after all these years!

Opening every window
Feeling the breeze in my face
Embracing the roots of my ancestors
I want to taste you from beginning to end.

Its a shame we are not sharing this moment,
We could be holding hands looking at Monet's Water Lilies
Falling for each other again, faster than before.

Oh I miss you ...

I miss you my yellow creature.

Ordinary? Never. We could create magic out of nowhere.

Friday Morning

Roaming around my thoughts
Awakening my senses
Believing in you and only you
I blind myself consciously
To hear what I want to hear.

I am a slave to your words
To every single sound that comes out of your throat
Navigating through our world
We create golden dreams that melt into reality.

Liquid and light
Fragile like glass
I know you don't want to step forward
Still asking, still insecure if its going to be worth it.

I may change and I could believe for a while you are the one
But my mind works in such a weird way
What I say today
Could mean nothing tomorrow.

In my ideal world you are there
Standing, dancing close to my body
Holding me when I feel like crap
When I feel ugly and useless.

You should better know certain things about me
I look at the mirror and don't see the same girl people perceive
I have endless insecurities
And you'd better deal with them.

Far away from being perfect
I am still trying to recapitulate my older mistakes
Slowly learning
Thinking things over and over again.

I might get scared
I might try to find somebody else
Not because you are not enough
It's me, not knowing where to go.

I may need your guidance
I may need to hear you love me
I may need you
Fully, completely, all you.

All of you
I want all of you.

Lluvia de Marzo

Quiero gritarlo y no puedo, mi cuerpo tiembla, mi sistema se altera y te busca. Ha sido poco tiempo y aun así, se siente una eternidad. Los arboles se mueven, no ha dejado de llover. El aire arrastra las hojas y los vidrios resuenan queriendo romperse en mil pedazos.

Mi voz no se escucha, se mezcla con el ruido, quiero gritarte, quiero salvarte y por mas que lo intento, no logro encontrarte. Tu voz, de tonalidad azul marino, retiembla dentro de mi cabeza recordando tus palabras, tus frases, tus promesas. Quisiera volar hacia ti, destruir mi cuerpo material y convertirme en polvos que viajan infinitamente hacia un destino fijo. No quiero ser cortina en tu camino, quiero abrir todas las posiblidades para encontrarnos en un tiempo perfecto, en el tiempo ideal para enamorarnos.

Frio, mi cuerpo tiembla en tu ausencia. Se paraliza y no reconoce el sentido, camina lento, indeciso y cuando viene tu memoria, resplandece huyendo del miedo, dirigiendose a lo seguro, a lo que no duele. Es ahí, en ese hueco, en el que pienso que todavía tengo multiples oportunidades. Quisiera besarte completo y comerte las ideas lentamente, sin lastimarte, oliéndote, disfrutandote. Giros derechos e izquierdos, no asegurando lo siguiente, no sabiendo como irme como un globo en el aire, sin rumbo ni destino,llevandome a donde el tiempo me indique.

Lo sé desde hace poco, desde la ultima vez que te ví sin tu camisa blanca, desde la ultima noche en la que ví tus ojos verdes.
Decidí que atandote a mi cuerpo, no vas a escaparte a ningun lado. Mis manos, aunque pequeñas, tienen la fuerza necesaria para pelear, rasguñar y herir. Y soy peligrosa cuando brotan mis raices libanesas posesivas y celosas. No trates de intentarlo, ya es tarde para arrepentirse.

Me da risa al ver tu reaccion cuando te digo lo que siento porque se que no lo esperas y que ha sido muy rápido. Pero que tan rápido es lo rápido? Y quién me obliga a seguir las reglas de la espera. Cansada de caminar despacio, quiero correr hoy sábado lluvioso de marzo a volver a estar contigo, a sentir tu boca en mi boca, tus manos en mis manos. Te quiero sin tener mas de cinco motivos, es tu energía y lo bueno que eres. Si, si yo grito en silencio y mi corazón lo siente y no huye y no le da miedo. Es franqueza absoluta.

Las palabras fluyen como un canto de felicidad y melancolia. Hoy celebro tu ausencia que me hace mas fuerte, que me ha hecho volver a sentir, que me quita el hambre y me da ansias.Despierto con tu cara en mi memoria, con el recuerdo del pasado y te siento cerca aunque estes mas lejos que nunca. Tu voz se me ha quedado grabada, siento el aire y el sol en mi piel que me recuerda cuanto tiempo me he ido.

April and June

Not remembering, not allowing myself to feel again
It hurts, this time it does.

I still wonder why it went the other direction
Not enough, not strong and not brave
You came and you left.

Roads ahead I still hear your sound
Your face is present...
So present it burns.

Silence kills me
Sound annoys me
Waves are storming harder than yesterday
And yesterday was when you belonged.

Not enough, never enough
I'm still asking too much
When I made mistakes
You made mistakes too.

Ghost of frozen dreams
Idol of hopes and tears
Water and liquid flows on my face
Tired of waiting, expecting and craving.

You only you
You came and then left
You praised and lied...

Self-centered selfish rat.

What happens right now?
Not tonight not tommorow
Not yesterday not this morning.

It comes and goes and trespasses my wall
It makes me chill and makes me cry
You red great tornado who destroys and leaves no clue behind.

Hoping, desiring, wishing, and dreaming
You, so unique, so special
So torrent and sexual.

Two ways, two choices
Where to go
What to say
Ordinary and extraordinary.

Poles of fear
Listening to deaf words
Emptiness above the clouds
Low and go.

Together : April and June
Kites flying above us
Lies and mysteries cursing
Our story trust mixes with fantasy.

Treats within layers
Greatness of words and water of hopes
Joy... lust yellow and green
Rain torrent give my heart beat

Bowling in summer
Crying in autumn...

Where have you been?
Not wondering but hiding
Go deep go deep
Heal and retreat.

Illussions of tomorrow
Crack my interior.

Trick and retreat
Taking not giving
Harsh and miserable
Torn and rebellious.

1/2 Orange

I admire you for some many reasons
For your spirit and kindness
For telling the truth when I'm lying to myself
For opening my eyes when I've been stubborn.

I feel blessed knowing you care about me
Truly, it is very nice when someone loves you because they want to
I will always be grateful for trusting me
For sharing your stories and your secrets.

Thank you for not letting me fall
For holding me strong when I felt like crying
For listening to my stories and stupidities
For laughing out loud and being silly.

We need to celebrate our present life
Enjoying every second
Breathing deeper and slower
Screaming louder and jumping higher.

Liberating our senses
Taking life the way it's meant to happen
Good or bad
But never focusing only on the outside.

Loving again and falling down several times
But getting up faster than yesterday
Growing stronger
Learning from past experiences.

This is my little something to you, thank you, thank you, thank you for being my friend... te quiero mucho!