One Time Too Many

"Dance of Life". Edvard Munch.

No answer
He is being quiet again
Frustrates me
He likes to remain silent.

Seems like he is playing deaf
And I am playing mute
No communication
Barriers are covering our mouths.

Planting imaginary scenarios
Stabbing my expectations
Waiting is harming my thoughts
Time goes so slow
Feels like an eternity.

For once, I plea to speed this situation.

Right infront of me he is sitting
Perfectly dressed, yellow tie
Seems he came out of a magazine
His face is just way too amazing.

Although I can reach him with my arm
His mind is somewhere else I can't find out.

Making an effort to stay present
He can't
Past keeps on chasing him
He is not having a good time.

Restless and tired of following
Hating to be stuck in this situation
I am about to give up.

Why is my head still obsessed with his beauty?
It trembles revolving everything inside myself.

Greatness transformed into fondness
Now it is purely sadness.

Melody of my favorite band is playing
They sing "One time too Many"
"I am gonna to miss you a lot" has being said
It hits me, not really knowing why.

Earning satisfaction or dissatisfaction
You look around avoiding my fingers
I don't want to understand or justify your rejection,
I want to get it over with.

Port of green ladscapes
The light in the middle of the table helps our darkness
Wearing a black dress makes me feel stupid
You haven't even noticed it.

Keeps on staring still
There
Grounded
Stiff.

Oh, I want to shake you hard
So you can live life as intense as I do
Original intent of crime
Meticulous moves, planning too much.

I will drink his money tonight
But he will not enjoy his own
I look around out of curiosity
Older men are staring at my naked legs.

Empty and half hurt
Feeling I am wearing a costume
Dumb and used
Why am I here?

Be honest and accept you just like what you see
What your eyes can perceive

Is it all you want?

Sick of hesitating or forcing what is not true
Maybe it will be me who wants not to commit to this "ideal dream"
Sure we look good together
But I haven't find substance
There is no such thing as "real love".

While we are leaving, he finally notices my black dress
He says I look incredible.

That's it.

Holding me, he kisses me tenderly.

I can't contain my anger
I can't change him
Either I accept him or I leave him.

That is what I will be doing
Why keep on fooling ourselves?
It is clear he is not comfortable being next to me.

Am I too much for him?
Is he too quiet for me?

We are so different it hurts,

I wish it was like I imagined...

But it is not.