Old Man

"Felix Crying". Drawing for the film Stereoscope. William Kentridge.

A glass chandelier hanging above the wodden table
Smoked salmon served on the silver dish
Touching the red velvet cushion with my hand
Predicting tonight is going to end bad.

Licking his fingertips with his tongue
Enjoying the sweet remains
Feeling guilty of how good it tastes
Proving once more how desperate he is for sex.

Staring at every move I make
Ordering to clean the dirty dishes
Following every step I take
Not trusting my actions.

As soon as I sit down,
He takes a sip of wine.
He proposes a toast for our future
Chasing me like a prey with his sight.

Lifting the mantelpiece
Trying to hide his thirst for my youth
He observes the shape of my legs.

Desire is rising, I can hear it in his breath
He wants me so badly
He wants to feel young again.

He is torturing me with his silence, and when he finally speaks
Words come out as an orgy of stupidity, as a continuos babbling.

I can't understand shit
Feels like we speak two different languages
I am trying to keep my eyes open
But this is too exhausting for me.

Feeling sorry for him
My body is tired of listening
I want to take a break from his speech
He dreams too high not realizing he has so little to live.

"Focus on what you have, it is late for new adventures Old Man
Trying to conquer new territories will not be worth it
What you accomplished is what you are taking to your grave
It won't be long, it will take nothing before you vanish to another world".

I want him to react
But he does not move a finger
He is just impressed by my beauty.

The mirror, the carpet, and I have the same value to him
He wants to own me
In order to feel good with himself.

Well, I will never belong to you
No matter how hard you try
It is nice when someone wants you
But possession will never be right.

Here we go again
Another male who doesn't care what I say
As long as the outside is fine.

"Wouldn't it be better if you'd be a mute?"-he asks.

Thinking causes trouble
So I will be quiet
I will pretend, I will say nothing.

Old Man smiles with a perverse smile
Knowing I will not speak my mind.